To Ryan...

"Ryan" is the internet pseudonym of someone who commented on my latest column. He says that I am "well-known" on campus as a hater of Muslims by several leaders of student groups who've been quite offended.

OK, supposedly-existing personal enemies, can you, like, let me know you exist or something? Unless you've got some kind of attack planned (a fantasy so paranoid even an internet commenter couldn't manage it), there's no need to go around being someone's enemy and never saying anything.

Or do you not actually exist? Am I not the pariah that some jerk on the web says I am? OH HORROR ! ANONYMOUS INTERNET PEOPLE MAY BE WRONG WHEN THEY TELL ME I'M AN ASSHOLE! HOW CAN I LIVE IN SUCH A WORLD!?